'Long distance relationships can work if the 4 of you trust each other': 30+ jokes and hot takes that show why most couples should probably break up

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Oct 16, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

Everyone has an opinion about other relationships: whether they should go out or ghost, stay together or break up, get married or divorce, etc. Sure, it's nobody's business except for the people in the actual relationship itself, but also that's no fun! It's entertaining to unpack what makes certain couples work and what seem to be clear signs that these two people are going to crash and burn, so to speak.

Obviously, some red flags are incredibly obvious from the start, whereas slowly reveal themselves when it seems too late to turn back. Here's a good life tip: it's never too late. You could be walking down the aisle, and although it's incredibly hurtful to run away, sometimes it's the best you can do for yourself. Keep scrolling below for these 30+ jokes and hot takes about relationships, breakups, and dating. For more, here are some jobs you should avoid if you want to be in a successful relationship.

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  • 01
    Jaw - CORINNE FISHER @PhilanthropyGal The longer your happy anniversary caption is the worse I know things are going.
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  • 02
    Nose - Eleven @lamShree Being in a relationship is solving problems together, Problems you wouldn't have if you were single.
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  • 03
    Font - wittyidiot @stephenszczerba Go ahead and get married and be the prime suspect of a murder investigation if anything remotely suspicious happens to them for the rest of their life
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  • 04
    Human body - Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.
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  • 05
    Font - Adamned Cerious @Browtweaten but babe this is my emotional support pile of stuff next to my bed
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  • 06
    Sports equipment - @hersheyKisses_ Date idea: Fight another couple. 6,016 Retweets 2,210 Quote Tweets 24.3K Likes
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  • 07
    Rectangle - Shower Thoughts @showerfeelings If the pollution of oceans and overfishing continue, they'll have to update "there's plenty of fish in the sea" to "there are still some fish left among the trash", which is also far more accurate dating-wise.
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  • 08
    Font - Laura Kay Sherman @LauraKaySherms male birth control is free: just hold a fish in your profile photo
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  • 09
    Font - wyatt @turntretarded SHE DIDNT GHOST ME SHE WAS JUST IN REHAB LETS GOOOOOOOO 31.5K Likes 1,975 Retweets 185 Quotes
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  • 10
    Font - JenAshley Wright @JenAshleyWright Wait. Why is it called ghosting? Ghosts stick around. THAT'S THEIR WHOLE DEAL.
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  • 11
    Jaw - F Him: I'm sorry, socks in bed are kind of a deal breaker Me: wow My sock puppet: WOW Panneda Express @justokpanda
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  • 12
    Jaw - woahh mann @ashhhhhhole and is his potential in the room with us right now? 4,303 Retweets 252 Quote Tweets 34.6K Likes
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  • 13
    Font - Spotless mind+ @jjairr_ My ex was like "I know a spot" then took me to the lowest point in my life.
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  • 14
    World - D.J. Short @djshort Ah yes, it's the time of year where people in commercials buy cars without telling their significant others like complete psychopaths.
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  • 15
    Font - Helena Bottom-Farter @solikebasically DON'T CALL IT TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE IF IT DOESN'T EVEN SECURE ALLIANCES BETWEEN RIVAL FIEFDOMS
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  • 16
    Font - Rachel @femaleredhead oh your boyfriend's a doctor? well my boyfriend is now the coach of an imaginary football team for the next 4 months 9,084 Retweets 1,669 Quote Tweets 130K Likes
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  • 17
    Light - jarrett sleeper @jarrettsleeper Domestic partnerships: mostly interrupting your partner to force them to look at your shared pet. You do this as if it were an emergency. You do this with a raised voice and an unpleasant intensity. Pet looks the same as yesterday and five minutes ago. That doesn't matter. Look.
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  • 18
    Smile - Jennifer Wortman @wrefinnej Today I discovered my husband has me in his phone as "Jennifer Wortman."
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  • 19
    Rectangle - I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really listening.
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  • 20
    Font - kelsey darragh @kelseydarragh Mailing my ex his stuff. I'm including things that aren't his so he knows I'm already sleeping with someone new..and that Im still insane.
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  • 21
    Rectangle - horoscope girls be like: hey i'm sorry i cheated on you and your dad but i'm an asparagus, it's just how i am
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  • 22
    Font - Tank.Sinatra @George Resch Every app is a dating app if you're creepy enough
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  • 23
    Font - Mike F @animaldrumss its stupid when girls say they cant find a guy, yet they ignore me. its like saying youre hungry when theres a hot dog on the ground outside 10.6K RETWEETS 19.3K FAVORITES
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  • 24
    World - Frankie Boyle @frankieboyle You'll grow up not every really knowing if you deserve love, but one day you'll meet someone who loves you, and you'll be able to accept yourself. Then, once they really get to know you, they'll find you unbearable and leave, but the important thing is to stay hydrated.
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  • 25
    Font - 7 Leonard Fournette @_fournette The two richest men on earth couldn't keep they girl happy but I'm supposed to Twitter for iPhone 9,768 Retweets 1,817 Quote Tweets 57.9K Likes
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  • 26
    Font - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix My wife and I agreed never to go to bed angry with each other which is why we've both been awake since January 14, 2013. Twitter Web App >
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  • 27
    Organism - Kent Graham @KentWGraham I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren't allowed to talk about what they did at work all day. · Twitter Web Client 1,105 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 1,915 Likes :
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  • 28
    Font - .. Brian .. @Brian_Jethro Do Not. I repeat, Do Not let anyone tell you differently. Long distance relationships can work if the 4 of you trust each other.
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  • 29
    Organism - Raw Motherhood @MetteAngerhofer I sent my husband a flirty pic while he was at work. When he got home, he asked me why I sent it. So yes, the flame of our attraction is still burning strong. Twitter for Android
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  • 30
    Font - Relationships are like garage sales. From a distance it looks like it could be interesting. But up close, it's just a ton of sOyou don't need.
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  • 31
    Font - Raven's Sin of Literature @TheBoyWhoWrote Send me a "we need to talk" text and I'm just going to respond with "yeah. We absolutely do." Now we're both waiting with spicy armpits.
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humor dating fails marriage jokes relationships Memes funny tweets dating apps online dating funny dating
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